Institute for Psychic Reform
TECHNOCAR
Frequently Asked Questions
1. q: Does your car run on electricity?
a: No. No it doesn't.
2. q: Is your car solar?
a: See 1.
2. q: Do all those light up?
a: No. Because it takes around 1000 watts of power and 50 pounds or more of rectifiers, etc. to cause 8 tubes to glow I couldn't get enough power to light the tubes even with a giant generator in the trunk. Even if I could make them glow, they are all bad to begin with and once they start to glow they're nice and hot and the first raindrop to hit one is a sure fired explosion (or is it an implosion?). Instead I have mounted LEDs and neon to make the tubes appear to glow.
3. q: Is that how you contact the aliens?
a: I gotta stay in touch with my shorties!
4. q: I bet that messes up your mileage. ...?
a: First of all that's a statement. Secondly, yes. I've lost about two miles per gallon off my highway performance.
5. q: Do the cops hassle you?
a: Never. I've been questioned about the car at gas stations and in parking lots but nothing any different from the average person. I think they figure noone trying to, as a woman at a convenience store once said to me, "get away with anything" would drive a car like that.
6. q: Why would you do that to a car?
a: You don't think the car enjoys the attention? You don't think the car loves people touching it and looking at it? You don't think the car revels in the fact it gets more attention than the average Corvette? Personally I don't think cars care what we do to them and I can only ask, "Why wouldn't you do something to your car?"
7. q: Doesn't that ruin the resell value?
a: Yes... uh... No... uh... I can't imagine how you could reduce the resell value of a 1990 Nissan Sentra other than driving it at 50mph into a wall.
